lalala

2005-10-05T02:35:00.000-07:00

You Are A: Kitten!

Cute as can be, kittens are playful, mischevious, and ever-curious. Your mischevious side is part of what makes you a kitten, as is your dislike of getting wet! Kittens are often loving, but are known to scratch or bite when annoyed. These adorable animals are the most popular pets in the United States--37% of American households have at least one cat. Whether it is your gentle purr or your disarming appearance, you make a wonderful kitten.

You were almost a: Monkey or a Parakeet
You are least like a: Pony or a Bunny What Cute Animal Are You?

Hoogasaga

2005-08-04T19:19:00.000-07:00

i got my new bus pass.

i look like a happy babarian in the photo.
the shaggy shouder length hair type.
But happy, smiley n dancey type nonetheless.

and that's a whole world of difference from when i lost it.

i mean wad the heck! i brought my concession for the month,
walked out to the exit when i realised that the bloody pass wasn't with me.
then i can't find it.
*#@&!!#$%^
in less than 2 minutes and 5 metres too!

so this time, i look like a shaggy shouder length hair type of babarian,
of the grumpy, sweaty and carry big club kind.

Bah. God has a plan for this.
i mean i got over it, got a new pass, became d happy lil babarian i am and still like d hairstyle, ah wells.

2005-07-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

The burden- for people WHEN WE THINK THE WORLD IS ON OUR SHOULDERS AND THAT THERE IS NO END TO OUR TROUBLES .

"Why was my burden so heavy?" I slammed the office door and leaned against it. Is there no rest from this life? I wondered. I stumbled to my desk and dropped into my chair, pressing my face into my arms to shut out the frustrations of my existence."Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me sleep forever and never wake up!" With a deep sob I tried to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed the blackness that came over me.

Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I focused on its source: The figure of a man standing before a cross. "My child," the person asked, "why did you want to come to me before I am ready to call you?"

"Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... I can't go on. You see how hard it is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I simply can't carry it anymore."

"But haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens upon me, because I care for you? My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."

"I knew you would say that. But why does mine have to be so heavy?"

"My child, everyone in the world has a burden. Perhaps you would like to try a different one?""I can do that?"He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet. "You may try any of these."All of them seemed to be of equal size. But each was labeled with a name.

"There's Joan's," I said. Joan was married to a wealthy businessman. She lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three daughters in the prettiest designer clothes. Sometimes she drove me to church in her Cadillac when my car was broken."Let me try that one." How difficult could her burden be? I thought. The Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders.

I sank my knees beneath its weight.
"Take it off!" I said.
"What makes it so heavy?"
"Look inside."I untied the straps and opened the top.
Inside was a figure of her Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to speak. "Joan, you'll never be good enough for my son," it began. "He never should have married you. You're a terrible mother to my grandchildren..."I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and withdrew another. It was Donna, Joan's youngest daughter. Her head was bandaged from the surgery that had failed to resolve her epilepsy. A third figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he had been convicted of killing a police officer.

"I see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But she's always smiling and helping others. I didn't realize...."

"Would you like to try another?" He asked quietly.

I tested several.

Paula's felt heavy: She was raising four small boys without a father.

Debra's did too: A childhood of sexual abuse and a marriage of emotional abuse.

When I Came to Ruth's burden, I didn't even try. I knew that inside I would find arthritis, old age, a demanding full-time job, and a beloved husband in a nursing home.

"They're all too heavy, Lord," I said."
"Give me back my own."

As I lifted the familiar load once again, It seemed much lighter than the others did.

"Let's look inside" He said.

I turned away, holding it close.
"That's not a good idea," I said.
"Why?"
"There's a lot of junk in there."
"Let Me see."His gentle voice compelled me.

I opened my burden. He pulled out a brick.
"Tell me about this one."
"Lord, You know. It's money. I know we don't suffer like people in some countries or even the homeless here in America. But we have no insurance, and when the kids get sick, we can't always take them to the doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm tired of dressing them in hand-me-downs."
"My child, I will supply all of your needs... and your children's. I've given them healthy bodies. I will teach them that expensive clothing doesn't make a person valuable in my sight."
Then he lifted out the figure of a small boy.
"And this?" He asked."Andrew..."

I hung my head, ashamed to call my son a burden.
"But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not quiet like the other two. He makes me so tired. He's always getting hurt, and someone is bound to think I abuse him. I yell at him all the time. Someday I may really hurt him...."

"My child," He said, "If you trust Me, I will renew your strength, if you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I will give you patience."

Then He took some pebbles from my burden."Yes, Lord," I said with a sigh.
"Those are small. But they're important.
I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't make it look nice.
I can't afford to go to the beauty shop.
I'm overweight and can't stay on a diet. I hate all my clothes.
I hate the way I look!"

"My child, people look at your outward appearance, but I look at your heart.
By My Spirit you can gain self-control to lose weight.
But your beauty should not come from outward appearance.
Instead, it should come from your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in my sight."

My burden now seemed lighter than before.
"I guess I can handle it now," I said.

"There is more," He said. "Hand Me that last brick."

"Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle it."

"My child, give it to me." Again His voice compelled me.
He reached out His hand, and for the first time I saw the ugly wound.

"But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty, so...Lord! What happened to your hands? They're so scarred!"

No longer focused on my burden, I looked for the first time into His face. In His brow were ragged scars-as though someone had pressed thorns into His flesh.

"Lord," I whispered. "What happened to you?"

His loving eyes reached into my soul.

"My child, you know. Hand me the brick. It belongs to me. I bought it."

"How?"

"With My blood."

"But why, lord?"

"Because I have loved you with an everlasting love. Give the last brick to me."

I placed the filthy brick into His wounded palm.

It contained the entire dirt and evil of my life: my pride, my selfishness, and the depression that constantly tormented me.
He turned to the cross and hurled my brick into the pool of blood at its base. It hardly made a ripple.

"Now, My child, you need to go back. I will be with you always. When you are troubled, call to me and I will help you and show you things you cannot imagine now."

"Yes, Lord, I will call on you."
I reached to pick up my burden.

"You may leave that here if you wish.
You see all these burdens?
They are the ones that others have left at my feet. Joan's, Paula's, Debra's, Ruth' s... When you leave your burden here, I carry it with you. Remember, My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to fade.
Yet I heard Him whisper, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."

A peace flooded my soul.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kopped this from Oli's blog ages ago.
Thought i'll finally get down to paragraphing it and posting it up.
Touched by & reminded of His grace once again.
-grinz-

Cute people in Ngee Ann.

2005-06-29T00:27:00.000-07:00

Was doing Math OnLine assignments at the study area outside the co-op near the gate of SIM. The path sorts of turns in at the left hand side from SIM and the right hand side from the ngee ann alumni area. yup.

And MOL's this online tutorial thing that's way irritating.
it's a mix of both online work and offline on paper logbook working shit.
bah.
they should have just give us ordinary tutorials.

i rather like the nice stars tho.
=)
they come out when u complete a certain quota of questions.
Bah.
i'm such a kid.

Anyway, i was being a good, diligent and (ahem) guai student who's solving the questions when i heard some girl shrieking.
Not screaming, not calling, not shouting but shrieking.
The high pitch, hoarse and girl voice shriek.

She actually leaned forward from the effort of calling her friend.
(picture her back bending forward like an r)
she was calling some friend or another who's probably hanging around at the study area.

The thing is, everyone BUT her friend heard and turn to look at her.
(prob too paisey to ren her ready lah)
I was actually 1 of the first few who turned when she shrieked, so had quite a good look at her face.

She's quite pretty lei.
But i digress.

Anyway, i turned back to look at her,
because i noticed everyone in the study area,
and i mean every freaking one,
as in about 30 people staring at her direction,
so i turned too, expecting to see some show.

but by then she noticed that she had caught the attention of everyone there
including the 'friend' who either pretended not to know her or whom she mis-identified.

So she pretended that it wasn't her
who screamed and shriek like some siao char bor
and simply turned and walk away.

style, i tell u, style.

hahaha.

and i was reading one of my friend's blog about wad she and her class mates did as they were ~~too free~~ early for class.

there's this rather large flat and clear area where they were at.

They were crapping (not the inside toilet type, but from the mouth type)
and then started playin some 1-2-3 mu tou ren game which sort of resembles the a-e-i-o-u game which i also dunno how to play.

anyway, they moved on to playing lao ying zua xiao ji (eagle catch chicks).

for those whose childhood's depriaved,
it's this game where the 'eagle' try to catch the single file of 'chicks' from the 'hen' who spreads her hands wide and trys to protect her 'chicks'.

they probably shrieked alot and made a whole hell lot of noise/

Yup.
They played it in school.

i can't believe it either.

then some lecturer popped out of the classroom and spoke to them.
(probably something to the effect of "Can you guys keep it down? i got a class to teach yaba yaba...")

yea. and they all ran off cos they were too embrassed.
apparently, they didn't realise that there's a class going on at that time.

the cute people in my sch la.
they make good comic relief tho.

Apples of gold in settings on silver

2005-06-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Singlish. Quite fun ar.

2005-06-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

Was sharing this bible passage during rciy when the singlish version popped up in my mind. They seperated the passage into 2 and got 2 people to read the each part. After they finished, i went like Ey... singlish version you want?
Oh well. Shall post it here.

The original passage is here. Advisible to read it first.

Jesus chit za buay za go and stand on the shore, but the disciples bak chew tak stamp neber recognise him.
He ceouted,"Oei!!! Got catch anything anot?"
They leply,"Bo lei!"
then He tell them, "Take the net go and throw at the right side of the sampan. Confirm can catch one."
So people tell them throw, they go and throw. Then catch a lot the fish until cannot pull the net inside.
Then Jesus love the disciple that one tell Peter, "Ey, God leh."
So Peter faster wear his outer shirt (but they never say got inner wear anot) and jemp into the water.

Be it unto me

2005-06-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

Be it unto me
According to your Word
According to your promises
I can stand secure

Carve upon my heart
The truth that sets me free
According to your Word O Lord
Be it unto me

more bout this later.

Update on rabbit

2005-06-23T04:50:00.000-07:00

i named him Nathaniel.

i confirm that it's male.

he got really small balls.
Amelia, your rabbit's not normal.

i miss the way he eats from my hands.

and drink while i hold d container.

and how he'll curiously look around.

no, he didn't die and i didn't kill him.

serena wanted him and took him in.
mabbe i did kill him in that sense. hahaha.

after i named him and started to like him so much too.

Bah.

Bye bye Nat!
hope u founded a good home.

2005-06-16T03:59:00.000-07:00

Heyas people!

i got a rather large bunny on my hands right now and looking for a good home for him. it's a him according to his previous owner - i didn't see his ham and egg when i carry him up.

he's a local rabbit, about 1 - 2 years old, and curious and rather tame. not any fancy lop ear angora breed or baby, but still cute nonetheless.check out his pictures.

Click on the url below if u can't see d pics.

When he stands to look around.
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/299/1179/1024/IMG_2740.jpg

Full Bod
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/299/1179/1024/IMG_2723.jpg

peeking up. he's soooo adorably curious.
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/299/1179/1024/IMG_2736.jpg

erm. so yea. any takers?

gimme a buzz at 81332593 or email me at infinitum_87@hotmail.com yea?
if u can help somehow by providing a cage, or keeping him at your place till we find him a new family, pleeeeease contact me.

i'm currently keeping him in a cardboard box that he's chewing away tru happily, and it's not doing to last.
i need to find a home for him by the end of this week (20-06-05) before my family's throws him out.

Please help to forward this around to responsible and lovig people, and not of the sm tendency towards animals kind k?thanks!

regards,
Stella

2005-06-13T23:33:00.000-07:00

Am at ju's house after looking around thomson for a rabbit hatch. still can't decide if i should get one as my family seem pretty insistant on not keeping the rabbit.

Sigh.
After i got so attached to him too.
Got him last night from a couple who got no time to look after him and 2 other rabbits.
he's so gentle and friendly.
and fun loving too,
butting my hand,
holding the food dish in his mouth and shaking it
and sticking his head to peek out of the card board box i placed him in.

he let me pick him up even tho i dun have any experience and am probably abit rough.

he licked my hand thi s morning.

He look so cute and lovable.

Sigh.
i wish they'll change their mind. wad with he's too big lah, too noisy lah(he was gnawing away at the box and newspaper last night: anymore and he'll bite a hole tru and hop around my house lah), attract mosquito lah, police come and arrest us lah, wad rubbish. sigh.

well, i guess the least i can do i to make sure he gets to a responsible and loving owner.
but still... should i get d bloody cage?
Oh yea, that n i got no $ to buy cage, so anyone wanna chip in? haha.

Any way, was looking around at the dog adoption sites as ju's looking for a doggy to adopt.
a schnauzer to be exact.
any one got any lobang?

Yea. anyway, i saw this story on the spca site.
damn sad.
damn touching.

So everyone, the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, these animals deserve our love and sensible care, and all life is precious.

----------------------------------------------------------

Responsibility

Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.....

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.

I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides,stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her? affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose.loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you.You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us,of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.

A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author:

If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters.

Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.

Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.

Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad,but it could save maybe, even one unwanted pet.

Awesome God

2005-06-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

i remember the time i met Ranneth at my void deck once.
he used to like me at that time.

it was some planet meets another planet thingie, so we went up to the top of the open air multi-story carpark to watch the eclipse.

i was sort of lying down halfway, with my palms propping up my upper body.
there was a gentle breeze blowing,
the stars were twinkling and a few were shining extra brightly. (okie... they're planets)

it was the perfect moment...

for praise and worship.

i started singing...

"Our GOD is an awesome God,
He reigns from the heavens above
with Wisdom, Power and Love,
Our God is an awesome God"

So nice.
In case you're wondering why i'm blogging this right now, no, it's not becos i'm an item with Ranneth.
it's becos i'm listening to "Awesome God" by Hillsong United
album "Look to You" now.
it's awesome.
a very nice and wonderful worshipy song.
i likeeeeee.

too bad i can't do this alone cos it's dangerous for a girl to be out
at the top of a multi story carpark at night
even if it is singing pnw.

hahahahha.

i sound like some nut.

But this post is not just about how cool God and His creation and Praise and Worship is. okie... it was in the beginning, but while typing this, i realise that i miss Ranneth.

it's too bad that i can't talk to him cos i'm afraid of leading him on and i know he feels awkward talking to me.

So Ranneth, i really value our friendship and i dun want to lose this friendship becos we've stop talking to each other. so yea. let's not let this friendship end yea?

The sceptic learns

2005-06-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

Am blogging at mabel's place after YLM meeting. The rest are at Chomp Chomp now and i can't join them cos i ~~am budget~~ got dinner waiting for me at home.
Shindys' laptop's not with me, so i can't ~~steal~~ borrow my neighbours' bandwidth and my desktop has gone kaPom, so cannot use the internet.

Met Jem for a drink at Dome last sun. We started talking, and he shared about Jo's experience.

Anyway, she was praying about whether she should take some watchama-call-it course in NTU or SMU (I can't remember the course and university name lah, ok?) and she asked God to show her a sign.

"Y" for yes or "N" for no.

When she opened her eyes, she saw her brother's 10 year series.

Her brother's N level 10 year series with the nice BIG obvious N staring right at her.

So it's a No.
I remembered it so well, cos i don't believe it. Ya rite. Coincidence lah.
so thinks the sceptic.
...............................

Went with Julia to suntec becos i wanted to check out one of the stalls at world book fair where her mama works.

We stopped at esplanade first as there was no direct bus to suntec from macRitchie.

Browsed around at all the nice little shops there.

When we stopped at ~~this shop selling paper~~ Papier, i saw a little notice there for part time shop assistance(s).
i was still unsure about asking for the job as
1.)i am intimidated by the stern lady running the place and
2.)i have a bad feeling about working there
and ok,
3.) i'm chicken to ask.

So we browsed on, and when we walk passage leading to the shop again, i prayed.
I lifted it up to God,
told Him that i'm not going to go to esplanade again so He have to give me a reply fast
and told Him to show me a sign.

"Y" for yes or "N" for no.

As we walked past the shop, i saw an obscure display. That very shop accepts NETS!
And it Nets in red, with a giant N in front somemore.

I got so ~~chua tio~~ startled,
i actually jumped back a little in shock.

But what hitted me even more strongly,
is not that God is giving me a sign,
but that He is always holding me by the hand
and guiding me in my life,
in the smallest detail.

-smiles-

Me love You God.

i do NOT look 8

2005-05-31T00:42:00.000-07:00

Went to Ju's place after school, dinner and shower.

She told me it was the stop after the temple, so i stoned from my place, to church, to the stop past my secondary school, to when i looked up and saw this caucasian guy preparing to alight and looking my way.
i smiled at him and he smiled back.
=)
i lik friendly people who smile at me. met quite a few of them recently.

Then i looked out of the window, and realised with a start that i'm suppose to alight at that stop! looked at bishan park secondary school just to make sure, and stood up.
That guy very gentlemanly let me alight first. it's too irritating to type that caucasian guy all the time, so i'll just call him C.

so i walked a little distance towards the traffic light and had to stop cos the light was red and i'm not very garang, althought traffic wasn't heavy.

C: Don't you have to tap your card?
Me: Oh. I have student concession.
C: Oh. How do you get that?
Me: -_-
Me and him: because i'm a oh... (duh face) student? yes yes, of course.

i learnt that he's from America, a pr, and stays where julia stays.
he learnt that i'm from ngee ann, visiting a friend and against studying overseas.
So we spoke
and spoke
and spoke.

C: How old're you?
Me: How old do i look? (grinned at him)
C: (pointed look) twelve.
Now. how old're u?
Me: gua gua
Turning 18...

Bah. Thus the i do NOT look 8 under my profile. (or 12 or 10 or 9 or wadever younger than 14. i at least look 14 ok?)

Heh heh heh.
i asked his name at the end, but can't hear him properly, so i heard something like
"Cass". oh well. haha. but he was nice.
a nice stranger, a nice conversation, a nice ripple in my life. =)
i like.
hope he's living a happy life!

SPI library got great books!

2005-05-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

Finished reading "Abraham And His Sons" by James Harpur.

I love it.

They spoke about and elaborated the story of Abraham, Jacob and Joseph, explained them, talk of their weaknesses and failings, of God's grace, plan and purpose behind them, and of the lessons learnt in seemingly terrible situations e.g Sodom and Gomorrah - that we shouldn't condemn a city or everyone in them becos we dun agree with the government or the evil that most of the rest in the city is doing. It also shows that an individual can have a 2-way relationship with God and that He hears our heartfelt resquests i.e Abraham barginning.

And i better go to sch now.
Hehs.

One and Only Person Who Lets me Get Away With Directing Her Life...

2005-05-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

MEL CHIA!!!

Haha. so i sent her an email to wish her all the best for her exams and ran out of things to say, so i told her to (deep breath in)
dun stress eat well come back go mug but not too hard take care hugz and pray.
hahaha.
in a paragraph. and signed off. hahaha.
she took it in such a nice n good natured way, although she suaned me abit. Grrr. -happy grinz- Read it here and here.

Hahahhaa. Okie. and call me! and blog more often! in ways n about things i actually understand! hahaha. n still, take care of urself. *HUGx* oh yea... you better do well. heh heh.

2005-05-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

The time now's 9:34 and i'm in school.
Class's at blk 50 and i'm sitting at the benches at blk 51, having set up the laptop, checked mail, chatted a bit on msn and blogging.

Wad the hell am i doing at at blk 51 when my lecture's at blk 52, you ask?

Well, class started at 8 and would finish at 10, and since i figured that 26 mins of lecture isn't worth being marked as the fella who always comes late, i decided to give the class a miss.
heh heh.
Not that they wouldn't figure it out sooner or later anyway.

but i'ld rather it be later.

as late as possible.

yes, pun intended.

heh heh.

and yes, i'm late. yes, again. yes, as usual. yes, on the first day.
okie... now absent.
heh heh heh.
i rock lah.

and yes, i know it's not responsible and professional, but i'll still do it.

if not for the fact that it doesn't reflect well on christians. and not being a good steward of the time, resources and responsibilities He has given me.

so no, i wouldn't do it again.
as in be late again.

i mean i'll try.
really! really really really hard. but bo pian is bo pian, no?

a brief entry on my nice long weekend. heh heh.

Sunday
Went to Sentosa with YLM.
Played YLM-dunno-wad-best-model game, which most of us thought was amazing race, so we rushed. well, actually the other group did, to attempt to complete all the stations in order.
My group?

Heh heh heh.

of cos we cheated lah!

So we went to like 3 or stations at one go, using 2 or 3 cams, deleting the time frame of some of the digicams, so we completed everything!
Den becos Van loves taking photos of herself, she took tons of them. and won the best-model-who-took-the-most-photos award.

and considering how much photos the other team took,

whoa.

Van, u rock lah. hahaha.

We parked at tanjong beach for lunch, sun tanning, sea-splashing and captain's ball.
Was the best darn game of captain's ball i've ever played.
Managed to grab and throw the ball more than one and was laughing through out.

Then i was told that the guys decided to play reeeeeally easy so that the girls will have a chance to play.

I'm like... Oh.

Bah.

Oh well, was still d best game i've ever played. and i need to exercise!!!

but that was really sweet of them, summing up wad shannon said, "Guys, we wouldn't leave anyone behind in this game." =)

Yea. after that, the stupid showers were packed like nobody's business with a line that seems to stretch on to Timbaktu, so janice and i decide to use the outdoor showers.
Haha.

And cheryl and van wanted to take our photo, but becos there were other people queueing up and showering, they took their own photo instead.

...

Yup yup. den we went to harbour front mall for dinner. and i found Nehemiah's pressie!

It's a cute simple little book with flaps that can be lifted up to check out the pictures and words underneath! as in like
"who loves to roll in gooey disgusting mud?"
"Pigs love mud!" (flap lifted to see pic of pig in mud n d words pigs love mud.)
cute hor?
and check out my nice tan! hahaha.

Monday
Edited the pressie for Nehemiah by sticking felt on the door knob, tree and fleece of the lamb etc in the morning while talking to Julia. Well, 3am is morning wad... and i used to zzz that late.

Woke up late as usual, met Ju and went for Nehe's 1 year old birthday in the afternoon.

Was damn cute cos we lost our way. The way we navigate, i'll be surprised if we don't. See, i told Ju i dunno where the place is and she went like WHAT!.
yea. so we checked the map at the mrt station, located the place and used the right exit.

and here's the cute part.

We dunno where to turn, so we anyhow whack. we turned left from the bus stop at the station exit and walked straight. and continue whacking. and whacking. and whacking.

and Ju started whining which i found hilarious.

eg. about 2 stops later...
Ju: i'm tired. i'm going to zzz. i'm sure she takes bus home loh...
Me: hahahahha.
Ju: funny stel, funny.
Me:yea! hahahah.
Ju: -_-
(and prob a mental note to self not to go to such events with me again.)
hahhahaha.

The amazing thing is that we actually reached blk 118. in Redhill.

Unfortunately, we're suppose to get to blk 118B. in Tiong Bahru.

So we took a cab. and it was surprisingly near cos d fare's $2.50. after minusing the $2.40, it's $0.10, and so less than 10m away.

Hahaha.

Amazing.
See? our sense of direction ain't so bad after all. haha. okie... the cab driver was experienced, knowledgeble bout short cuts and honest. wow. how rare. too bad i didn't notice his name or car plate.

Yea. So we got to her place, chatted, and played with the kids. Nehe's sooooooo cute, sooooooo lovable and sooooooo huggable. and the other kids there are cute too. =) heh heh.
They were really fascinated with this metal ball thingie that they used to whack the coffee table with.
Okie, the same sadistic part of me that finds edward's reactions and ju's whining funny found the winces on the adults' faces hilarious too. haha. i guess kids just love noice makers fascinating. i was liddat too! haha. SOOOOO CUTE. and i was like "should've just get him some really oversized noice maker". haha. the amount of people it would drive crazy.

Oh yes! and Nehe does the bbbbbbbbbt thing too!
When i heard him, i was like gasp, soooooooo cute!!!!
hahaha. i guess that's cos i kept doing it for a period of time after learning it from cass.

so i Pbbbbbt him and he bbbbbbbbbbbted me. hahhaha. so fun. so cute. so lovable.

and so sweet, the way i can really see amy's love for him. her every action and word just screams "I LOVE MY KID!!!" can... awwww.

Yesh. we went grocery shopping at j8's ntuc den bummed at Ju's place. was super fun! =) heheh. And we took a 15 mins nap cos we were so pooped. Yup. den headed home. was damn tired.

And Ju slept early for the first time!!!

Hahaha.

-dances around in weird joy-
ok... madness.

Read Ju's entry here.here.

Tues
Went SPI with Ju.
Met Matt there.
Browsed around in the store downstairs before heading up to the library!
Yay! hahaha.
Borrowed 2 books on scripture.
I love scripture. i love scripture being explained. i love knowing and learning more bout God. =) lalallaala.

Yea. den we went to eat durian puffs at the store outside SPI. They were so yummy, i was so blissful, i could swear that the shop dropped down from heaven.

-contented sigh-

Ahhhhh...

Went for mass after that. Was really nice = ). Hee.
Can't wait to receive Holy Com!

Today.
School starts.
Went late and therefore skipped first class.

Briefing bout problem based learning. Sounds fun! =)
We get a problem, work in groups, try to find the solution and write a report. and we have facils, not lectures, and it's a team work, initiative and learning while on the job thing! sounds tough, but i'm gonna learn alot and i'm gonna love it lah! i already do anyway. haha. oh. and it helps that i got a great group too! heh heh.

Bummed in school and blogged till ZH and Shindy dismiss.

Went to buy our notes.

Then headed down to the SSIC to print our time tables and the printer seemed to be having some problems, as there was a LOT of people crowding around it.
Then we discovered that the printer actually worked, so we printed out our time tables. Then this guy was calling out names and passing the time tables around.

"Ey... Na ge ren zai zhe pian chuo kong ar?
(Ey... that guy works here ar?)

"No lah. ta zai tern ta de tong xi"
(No lah. He waiting for his stuff.)

"HAHAHAHA"

Then we went up to the printing shop outside lib to get our EG2 notes, went back downstairs to top up our concession when ZH and i noticed this poster advertising for jobs.

We went to the SSIC to find out more, and was told to use the coms there to dunno do wad. Instructions weren't very clear, so we kept going to ask the lady for info alternately.

Then while moving out, ZH accidentally hit the keyboard with his leg, and it went like

*CRASH*

hahhaha. and all the students in the SSIC were like staring at him lah. was damn funny and yet embrassing. ok. i'm weird and i laugh at weird things. hahhaha.

Yea. And i was super pooped, so knocked out till dinner time. and i cooked! haha. okie, just the mushrooms, but still...

Yea! and i tink my dad's rather keen on my baptism!
He asked when i'm getting baptise (again), and when i told him next year, he asked why, so i told him one year once loh. and he went like... "You never tell me earlier" when earlier, he's still adament on no... whoa. i'm happy happy happy. -grinz- hahahah.

Boliaoness to the greega

2005-05-22T02:20:00.000-07:00

i was stoning at home the day after the first ylm-draw-share-and-affirm session when i recieved an sms from Zhan He(school/course/sometimes-hang-out-in-school mate).

"Hi. Please do this exercise. It's fun! Ok, think of a word to describe me and send it to me. Then send it to 10 other people. Try it! it's fun to see what kind of responses you'll get."
(paraphrased cos auntie here memory not beli the good..)

Me: ... ...

Waited till he comes online.

"i have your word."

"Boliao."

Him: Wah liao! yours is the worst reply lah!

Me: laughing inwardly
Well, wad did you get?

Him: Intellectual, intelligent and 3 other adjectives which i forgotten.
(not him. he just refuses to retell me. =P)

Ok lah, they're true. and i think it's boliao to waste $ on smses for this (session that just passed provided tons of em for free!), so i shall add one more here: charming. there? happy? hahaha.

But it's fun! and i wanna see the replies i'll get! so play along and leave me the word in comments kie? n if u decide to put it up on your blog, i'll do one back. sompah! and do! it's fun! hahaha.

Can't wait for tml's sentosa's trip too! hee. sounds fun and crazy. heh heh heh.altho i think i'll be d main target for sabo. damn!

Rip Offs!

2005-05-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. Love the cartoons from cartoon church. Here're some i love!

And Eddie, this one's for you...

2005-05-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

Rip Offs. I'm amused by this one. =)

The Tami-Ed Post

2005-05-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

I wanted to type a post bout my sms/msn conversation with zhanhe, but that can be later. There's a more serious issue that i need to address first while i'm still in the mood.

it's about this guy.

EDWARD ISSAC GUNALAN!!!!

i knew him in RCIY.
He had to go through the whole process to get confirmed,

i had to go through it to get baptised.

i don't like him.
He was that aloof,
annoying,
act-tough indian guy who was never around (coming like for 10% of the time - he claims it's 50%) and
even then,suaned me every time he was around.

he didn't like me either.
i was that cannot-make-it noisy and loud chinese ah lian (now upgrade to that coffeeshop ah lian auntie).

The first warm fuzzy he wrote me in camp was that i sure can talk a lot of crap.

i didn't write him anything.

i got to know him better when we we co-ICed for a ylm outreach event at SJC.
The unofficial advisor gave us a lot of shit, and he bemoan the fact that he got a scatter brain like me for a 2nd IC.
I concurred. Heh.

Then we started talking over the phone, and found that there were certain things in the group that we feel shouldn't be so, and spoken to the seniors, who saw that changes have to take place.

it wouldn't have happened had he not hear me out and encouraged me.
he wouldn't have done it alone too.

so we spoke more to each other after that.
and our roles have sort of balanced, althought i bully, suan and torture him more now. exactly how it should be i think. =P

No, this isn't the cheesy we met, we got close and we're dating shit thing.

it's a tribute to our friendship.

Btw, did i mentioned hat i had prayed for a confidente and friend to share my life with and he came along in the many phone conversations?
awww.
disappointment man.
ha actually i didn't realised that until i got closer to him, and when the Holy Spirit made me remember that i had prayed for a companion (i know it sounds like the bgr thing, but no.
our relationship is purely platonic) and that he came along.

i must say i wouldn't be where i am today if not for him.
He listened to all my ideas and what i had to say,
told me dat i've got some interesting and fantastic ideas and thoughts in my head, and that i should let them out more often.
Because of that, i started to open up alot more and share much more of my thoughts to other people
and not just him.

So my dear Add-vad,

Thank God for you!
and Thank You for being my friend.

Thank You for bearing with a sadist like me,
the times i answered only "heh heh heh" to every sentance, question and comment for a loooong time,
my countless "well, actually.... ... (long pause) ... ... never mind"s,
and the other 1001 ways i'll try and disturb you that i can't recall off-hand.
(yes! that jap thing! haha i should purposly post a photo of me doing that here. mabbe later. heeh heeH)

HIIII!!!!

Thank You for your wonderful reactions that were so entertaining.
-Big cheeky evil grin-

And here's a whole bunch of us. heeh heeh heeh. Hi Edwarddd...

Thank You for always trying to help me:
be it lending me your digital cam for my cats project,
your discman,
your 2 cents worth of advice for any and every thing,
the countless CDs you burnt
and so so so many other stuff.

Thank you for listening to me, and sharing my life, my ups, my downs, my joys, my fears, and my experiences.

Thank you for talking to me, sharing your life, passion (for the group, u dirty minded people!), your ups, downs and experiences with me.

Thank you for all your advices, affirmation and encouragement.
They really helped to build me up and guide me, and i can really tell that it's him

They really helped to build me up and guide me, and i can really tell that it's him speaking to me throught you.

Thank You for being there to pull me up during my self-bashing / low/ down / dry periods.

Thank You for all the times you corrected (or tried to!) me when you see my areas of need.

Sorrie for the times i take you for granted and didn't appreciate you.

Sorrie for the times i slammed the phone on you cos i didn't feel like talking/ wanted to do something else when u needed somebody to talk to.

Sorrie that i'm still going to be evil to you cos that's how our relationship works. heh heh heh. -big cheeky evil grin-

And to sum it up, Thank You for being just you, my friend, and to know each other well enough to picture each other's expression or know what we're gonna do, say, think or react in various situations.

Most of all, i'm so thankful, grateful and blessed that you're my friend!
Thanks for being my friend.
Love,
MangeRAR

P.S. This post's in blue cos u like blue u act-tough piece of shit and it's 2.30am and my granma's gonna tap dance on the lap top next. =P n i need to go pray. ta-ta!
P.P.S it was in navy blue, but ju complained that it's not obvious enough and she's going blind, and we dun want that to happen, do we?

There... not so we-dislike-each-other now, are we? =)

Rip offs

2005-05-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush lets the kids ask questions.

"How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?", asks one boy.

Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they'll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back in.

"Where were we?", says George. "Oh, yes - does anyone want to ask me anything?"

A different boy raises his hand and says,
"I have three questions:

First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.?

Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And, lastly, where the hell is Billy?"

i'm terrified of blood! don't die near me!

2005-05-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

My aunt was opening this can of luncheon meat while she was preparing dinner, and she cut her hand with the lid.
And from the commotion, she seemed to be bleeding quite profusely.
So she was like asking my granpa, granma, uncles, some body, anybody to cut a piece of somethingie for her to bandage her hand and to stop the bleeding.

i was in my room, surfing blogs, when it happened, and i was like
oh no...
oh no...
shan't go out of the room...

Then the bleeding still hasn't stop, so she asked me to help her tie it up instead of my granma,
and for someone who's so terrified of seeing people bleed that she decided not to take up nursing,
i stayed in my room and went like

ewww. ewww. ewww.

and

oh no. oh no. oh no.

Why me?
I didn't take first aid,
i know nuts about tying up wounds, unlike my uncle who's there
and i'm terrified of blood!!!

i nearly fainted when i saw the bag of blood connected to peter when i visited him in the hospital can?

Anyway, i decided to help,
forced myself out of the room,
garangly stepped towards the kitchen and
prepared to render first aid albeit abit the half past six type.

den i saw her holding her thumb with this blood soaked tissue, and i chickened out, went back to the room and the laptop. man....

i'm meeting a friend at 5.30 and i don't dare to step out of the room.

So after all the hoo ha died down, and after the bleeding sort of stopped, she stepped into my room to grab her clothes as she wanted to shower.

i covered my eyes with both my hands
and asked how she is.
den she's like "you never helped me! i might have died of excess blood lost!"
and i'm like "i'm afraid of blood! that's why i didn't take nursing!"

argggg. now i realised that i can do all things except look at blood. ewww. shivers.

don't any of you cut yourselves in front of me and die of blood lost you hear?
sad dat i can't even help pple i love cos i'm afraid of blood.
didn't even realise this b4 this incident. brrrrr. graphic violence and gore is ~~no shit~~ ok cos it's virtual, but real life?

Pwah pok pok pok pok. (pretends to make chickenish sounds)

Bah.

Edit:
she (my aunt) still can complain that the luncheon meat was too little somemore. i gave her a weird look and to meet that friend. at 6.
"Sorrie dude! my aunt cut her hand and she was bleeding, so i have to stay home...

cos i'm afraid to run into her and her blood"

hhahaha.
sounds so pathetic.

anyway, i figured that he'll most probably be late anyway, since he always has been. but noooo. i waited till 6.30 and decided to go home. and i didn't get to go for mass. grrrrrrrrrrr.

when i reached home, my aunt was in d kitchen, and i caught sight of her hand. she cut her thumb, and it isn't that serious or life threatening. thankfully.
But nonetheless, it's still not a pretty sight.

Den i flipped, covered my eyes again,
and my granma laughed and commented that my aunt finds that the can contain too little luncheon meat and i remembered what she complained earlier, got the joke and cracked up. hahahhha.

I think i'm trumatised by this.
i kept thinking about people hurting themselves around me, how i couldn't render help becos i'm such a wuss and how they died as a result while i was walking to the mrt station to meet Joe.

Den i started thinking about how my granma might burn herself (literally. i pictured her clothes on fire) while cooking for me and i felt so sad that she has to cook at all. but then i guess it's the best alternative as compared to the msg laden food outside. we'll just have to be more careful next time. =)

2005-05-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

Met Alex earlier to meet for session part 2. Was cool - annointed and productive! Haha. Felt weird though cos the previous session was so inspired by the Holy Spirit and this one seem so, well, planned and by human hands in comparison. But i'm sure He was there and guiding us through, so well, it'll be good lah. we're just instruments anyway! heheh.

Need to ~~move my ass~~ get some stuff done b4 school starts.

The list includes:

1. Cleaning up my room - mess under bed, on study table and in cupboards.
2. Organising and keeping the garang i didn't chuck out in 1.
3. Settling the lap top with cousin.
4. Getting my tuition syllables out and ready for potential students

and
5. Getting a gift for a little 1 year old boy.
Any idea on wad to get anyone? i can't decide on whether if i should get him

a toy - it's fun! was thinking of something cuddly since he's only 1 tho.

or a book - those furry books u can touch and say 'cat' types, or the black and white types that babies can see best at that age.

or clothes - i dunno. a cute bib?

or a photo album - for him or his parents? would be nice for memories next time, but one of 'people who loves me' that he can carry around and flip throught seems nice too.

or a nice milk bottle - but he breast feeds lei. or should i say he 's breast fed? i think the former can lah ar.

or a set of those cute little bowls and plates and food holding thingies.
i tried to recall what they're called,but the stupid word just evades me and i keep thinking of cutlery. grrrr. cham lah. liddat how to teach english? any one knows wad the word is?

But thinking of wad to get is fun. =) i'm easily amused i see. any more suggestions on what to get and what i should get? hehs.

bah. wanted to grab this black and white book from SPI, as well as return d lib books and grab new ones there, but i was too lazy to ~~move my ass~~ go, so i went online, checked mail, surfed blogs,
chat with Esper on msn and bugged her
to accompany me to spi,
for ideas on wad to get,
and to ring her mom for info on what tecman has to offer.

Den i spoke to her on the phone,
we argued about who's copying who in wearing the same clothes to Sentosa, what she should wear underneath(sports bra or tankini - suggestions cheryl?)
and she tried to get me to leave EA(Evil Association against Edward) to join the EA (Edward Association), wait, she renamed it NPA - Nice people Association. Yea rite.

Anyway, she isn't accompanying me to spi, so i rang julia, spent the next 5 mins whining on going today and tomorrow, but she also ain accompanying me there either. Nair mind. I can go alone (after much self physchoing).

So i went to shower.

And happily prepared to go when i realised that it's raining. Not the little drizzle type, but the POURING type of rain, so i happily stayed home too. hehs.

Am meeting Van to allocated the session at 7, and it's 6.52 now. Oh well. tink i better scoot. later.

2 garang nuts

2005-05-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

was going to church for mass when i run into 3 lil malay kids at the traffic light. They were hip height, so i guess they're about 7 or 8.
i like kids,
and those kids look so super cute and lovable, how can i not notice them?

Anyway, the road was super busy today,
so this whole crowd of us, chio bu (ahem), aunties, uncles and kiddies were waiting to cross the road when one particular super cute, super lovable, super stupid and super garang lil boy tried to jay, but was stopped by his frens.

Nair mind. So he waited till the traffic cleared, and ~~cross~~ jayed with the rest of us death-fearing bunch.
We reached the other divider and waited patiently for the traffic there to clear.

ok, ok, so we were not that patient, but the fear of having a car go BAM on us at the speed of 80km/hr or more kept us all hurdled together at the small lil no car's land between the 2 road dividers like that play station penguin or chicken game.

Well all of us except Mr. super cute, super lovable, super stupid and super garang lil boy anyway.
The cars were less than 2 metres away, going at a rather fast speed and the traffic light was green for them.
But did Mr. garang care?

Nooooo.

He stepped on the road n scampered over. it was really cute to see him run. his school bag was weighting him down, giving the effect of him was running his hardest with a giant invisible hand pulling him back.

I look at the cars now 1 m away, and at his small cute and slow little figure running, and my heart stopped.

His frens were damn stunned too, and shouted something like "blah blah Mati!"
which i take to mean "You want to die izzit!"

but noooo....

3 seconds later, it was malay boy no.2's turn. he looked at the cars 1/2 m away, and started to run like his little friend did.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head, i freaked out, nearly screamed, wanted to pull him back, and waited to see him get killed all at one, when i realised that the light turned red for the cars.

The cars slowed and stopped. He swaggered the remaining distance acrossed flashing a really proud and smug look at his friend.

I was grinning and laughing when i got to church, and this malay uncle who probably saw their antics grinned at me. prayed for them at the start of mass and had to control my laughter so that i ouldn't have the whole chapel staring at me.

Hug Me!!!

2005-05-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. Was brosing through blogs cos i was too lazy to update my own. I will soon, but i digress. Anyway, i saw this cute little hug counter over at cass's blog that u can click to give her a hug, so i gotten one of my own. Not much help since about 10 pple knows this blog add. heh heh. but if u wanna give me a virtual hug, go click on give rar more hugs. it's just below d tagboard!

In Christ Alone

2005-05-15T01:52:00.000-07:00

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Got this from mel's blogs. i love the song n lyrics! guess i just prefer uk praise n worship cos d lyrics r deeper. =)

How wonderful His works...

2005-05-15T00:46:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. Today, i ~~conducted my first ever session session~~ experienced being His instrument in conducting His session for His group for the first time.
Well, ok, i had lots of help from lots of truly marvellous people like Nick, Matthew, Edward, Alex and the entire group, but it was still the first session session i conducted for Him n very good. (i mean the session, not me.)

It was a miracle session, really. A miracle that there was a session at all, that is. and that i'm the one to plan/conduct/do it.

We planned 1 week before,
We asked ton loads of people for suggestions, advices, input, ideas etc,
We organised and think and organise and think,
We meet and meet and meet,
and there was still no sign of session on friday evening.

I flipped,

dug out my rosary for the backup plan (normally we'll do bible sharing, but month of may mah, so rosary loh),

tried to come up with something,

kept staring at my notes,

went over to Shop n Save to get a pack of Kinder Surprise cos i felt like eating them,
(i had the feeling that it was OK to do this k? tink it's a Holy Spirit. that or my love for chocolates. Heh heh.)

watched some tv and prayed while watching, (i think i have the OK too. to watch tv lah! Heheh.)

remembered wad Eric said bout Him being in charge, How it's all up to Him; and if he didn't touch anyone, it's ok cos he's not the guy/instrument to do it, it's someone else's job to do it(definately Holy Spirit, but i still can't recognise k? it's a on hindsight thing.)
*note this

lifted it up to him then and continued watching my show.

left before the show ended to plan for session - i tink it's d prompting of the Holy Spirit
(any one wanna tell me wad happen in d end to that fann wong acting shizo show?)

rang up every one possible who could help, but couldn't get anyone

had a feeling that i have to come up with session myself this time and not rely on others,(think
it's d Holy Spirit again)

think and stare at the notes,

and gave up.

I prayed and submitted myself to His will for the group.
And did nothing else.
But waited.
And prayed.
And waited.

Ok. And stoned. Happy?

Then, i remembered a session i did before from RCIY.
It was so apt,
so much in line with the points of the session of knowing themselves with affirmation included,
conducted in such a positive and affirming method,
it could only be Godsent.

And this was the plan:
We'll play some games at first to relax, have fun, laugh and open ourselves up abit.

Then pieces of paper'll be passed around for them to reflect on and draw any object that represent themselves.

Next, they share and

reflect on what they drew, and how their very person's crafted, designed and created by God who loves them. and to think of the good within them. a bible passage'll be chosen n read for this purpose.

Then they'll share bout that bible passage and receive a big piece of vanguard to write affirmation on each other's backs.

Then we'll close with another reflection cum prayer.

This wad wad happened:
Game was pretty laid back tho we were having fun. That's becos we were ~~trashing the shit out of~~ beating the other group 12 to 4. Heh heh.

Then we sent them for toilet break, and i wasted quite a few mins waiting for them to settle down cos i was ~~too wuss-ie~~ not comfortable with opening my golden mouth and getting them to settle down.

So i had help at this point of time from Edward, Matthew and Alex.

I must admit i didn't like this at all cos, well, it shows that i can't conduct session n needed help lah.

So we drew, and shared. And Edward helped prompt Leonard.

I was glad, yet well, not too glad. Pride, i guess.

And then reflection. Tink i went a bit offpoint, but Matthew saved the day by adding a twist to the sharing by telling them to share on how the passage applies to their lives in the drawing.

At this point, i felt super paisey. kinda like i suck so much he had to come in. but glad cos i knew he could only b inspired. but still paisey n well, not too glad. Pride. Grrr.

It was power i tell u. He was most likely inspired too.

Then we ended with a prayer.

I'm glad. So very glad i typed this entry cos it gave me a chance to see ~~things~~ how He worked tru me and tru so many other people instead of focusing on how i think i didn't do well.

I see too the meaning of "if he didn't touch anyone, it's ok cos he's not the guy/instrument to do it, it's someone else's job to do it".

He used not just me, but so many other people, and i can't express it yet, but it's truly wonder-ful.

I mean i had felt so shitty and thinking on how i suck, but that's not important! The most important thing is that it's all for Him, and it's all up to Him. I'm an instrument alongside other people.

I'm not un-glad that they have to "chupped" in anymore, but so glad that they did! I see so much of Him in this too it's amazing. =)

I guess i also have alot more to learn bout community. (P.S. i think the group knows it's my first time conducting session, and they quieten down when i start to talk, so am very grateful to and for them. =) love them lah. haha.)

Indeed, wad a marvellous, marvellous, loving God i have.
Amen!

i'm a beloved child of god n lovin' it!

2005-05-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

i like school. =)
Well, at least some of the modules i took like iac and cats anyway. sheesh. i'm starting to sound like a lifeless nerd with nothing going on in my life but church and school.

But hey, i'm a beloved child of God, i've got a happening community in church where i learn, grow and bond with fantastic fellas and i'm happy in school. Okiee, so i'm a lifeless nerd, but a happy n contented one, so there. =) Nothing like a nice reminder dat i may sound loserish to others, but wad matters more is what i think of my own life and not wad others think, no? Bah. better keep reminding myself when school starts.

Things you never tot you'll learn on a car ride

2005-05-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

Well, here's some things i never tot i'll learn on a car ride:

1. Guys with ang kongs all over can be cool to hang out with.
(L(paraphrased): Who knows? That guy with the ang kong all over could be the friendliest guy you've ever meet, and you guys hit it off so well, that when you walk on the street and people give you trouble, you just point behind and say, "Ey, look who's behind me ok!". And by then you wouldn't mind that he has ang kongs all over cos you'll have ang kongs all over)

2. Quirky reasons for wanting to be christians.
There're other people who want to join the catholic church at first because
a.) it's cool
b.) it's an ang moh religion

Well, for me, c) i tot the sign of cross looks rather cool on some tv show i watched and all the christians i knew were cool.
For him, c) check out gals

3. It's normal to question. (God, the existance of God, etc etc, i realised it's myself i'm questioning, but that's another post.)

and

4. The "little hole" off the main road that you need to turn left into when you're driving me home is called a slip road. repeat after me children... slip... road...

And that's all for today...

SWEAT!

2005-05-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Library books due today.
Session noch yet planned.
Granma and aunt screaming at me for using the laptop too much and wasting the electricity.
So tot i'll get off their backs and go back to school to return the books and ~~use the laptop~~ plan my session.

So i loaded:

4 X books (1 kg)
1 X laptop (3.5kg)
1 X charger ( .5kg)
1 X filled bottle ( .5kg)

5.5kg worth of stuff into my bag and set off. Hey, the lib is so near the school entrance, 5.5kg? No sweat!

1 X stairs up the bridge
1 X stairs down the bridge
1 X stairs up to the bus stop
1 X distance from bus stop to school entrance and school entrance to atrium
1 X flight of stairs up to the library
later...

SWEAT!

Pant. And hot, and tired and sweaty. grrrr. next time i'll just go when shannon's free to go with me and get him to carry the laptop. but date due lah. grrrr. haha.

So hot, tired and sweaty nair mind, the library no plug for laptop, so i gotta shift. so i carried the 3.5 kg laptop, 0.5kg water bottle and 0.5kg of charger down the flight of stairs and up the slope to the convention centre study tables area.

So i set up the laptop,
connected the charger to the laptop and plug,
switched on the laptop, logged in,
chatted, read a couple of emails
And realised that i need to PEE.

so i turned off the laptop,
kept the charger,
packed my stuff,
and see 2 table-ful of people staring at me.

Changed place to blk 52 again. mutters mutters. ngee ann people sure are kpo.
So i planned session there.
At least i was offered a ride home by Lawrence! =)

I did this for IAC! hahaha

2005-05-10T05:09:00.000-07:00

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer
You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.
You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #4 Match: ENFJ

The Giver
You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #5 Match: ESTP

The Doer
You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second.You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown.Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor.You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you.
You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

What's" Your Personality Type?

History... Mystory... Ourstory...

2005-05-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

All religions teach you to be good. The "hero" confirm, chop stamp very kind, wise and self denying one. Teach you things like cannot anyhow kapo things from people, cannot suka suka kill people, cannot do this, cannot do that, do this and do that.

The christian bible lei? Haiyo. Instead of being nice, wad i read in the first 3 quarters very nasty one - kill this person lah, strike that one with disese lah, send plauges and locust lah and ~~hamtam nations into roti prata~~ wipe out entire nations. And done by God some more mind you! Aiyah... This sort of religion, how come got people join one?

But ironically, I joined! I was intrigued enough to want to know more bout this God, cos where got God liddat one?
After i decided that, i ran into a methodist evangelist. Got into an argument about evolution, me being the ego, loud and think i always correct lian that i was. And got an invitation to one of the speeches in her church.

Can... but must wait like 1 month, and auntie here isn't really known for her patience loh.

So i pestered my then boyfriend to bring me to church(Roman Catholic one). I dunno the significance of mass. just that the rites are beautiful, the people really believed in wad they attend, and the altar servers v reverant. i likeeeee.
then i went back to that methodist church and they taught me the basics. I accepted it, and then got problem. need to choose church. It was natural that I would choose the methodist church. I was closer to the people in the methodist church (they were friendier), and they taught me quite a bit about the faith, so it's a for granted thing.
but then, just like the practical S'porean, i choose the Catholic church.
Why?
Because the methodist church too far from my house. I stay amk, the catholic church in amk, but the methodist church in aljunied. so ya loh. some more sia suay a bit at d methodist church when i went there. Was running to board the train, skidded n hugged this guy. Haha. Yea...

So by His grace, I came to know Him more, the sweet, wise, incredibly humble and loving Jesus, the almighty, just yet super loving Father and the super quiet until can miss Him yet duper powerful Holy Spirit.
I came to know the significance of Holy communion and longed for it.
I came to recognised the catholic church as truly established by Christ, and love her rich liturgy and wisdom accumulated tru the ages and embranced the identity of being Catholic (and proud n grateful for it!)

But i was 14 and can't get baptised till my 21 because my daddy said so. Whole family taoist, buddist, wadeverist, and no black sheep. so ok loh... not ok also no choice. haha. but things got slightly bearable when i found out that my super distant relatives are christian, and hey, i'm not so black sheep after all!

Father Eugene Vaz explained to me the true meaning of recieving Holy communion and the blessing and power of spiritual communion too, and for that, i'm so grateful. (Thank you, Fathers - both you and the one in heaven!) and got to accept the fact that i gotta wait till i'm 21 to get baptise.
So i continued serving at my youth group.

And while we were having drinks at the church coffeeshop after meeting today, while I was playing the forming shapes with rubber band game with cheryl and while i was least expecting it, i got an sms from my dad.

"Stella if you want baptise you may go ahead."

I'm so stunned dat i started slapping adrian who was sitting next to me. think he got a lil irritated and thinking dat i've gone bonkers until i showed him d sms. den the phone was passed aroung, and the ylmers there were like super happy for me.
Then I started tearing, sorrie ar cheryl, not in joy. Is just cannot help it one. haha. so weird. i hate crying in front of people, somemore so many people there. den cannot stop somemore. haha. den go n tell charismatic.then tell them i scared my dad say can now, 1 hr b4 baptisium he say cannot, and they all turned to me and exclaimed "CHOY!"
lolx. so cute some people.
Really thank God for the beautiful christian community man. =)

but now, i'm a lil afraid. i dunno why. sigh. i NEED to pray.

hehe.

I love You too God. Just help me love u even more kie?

2005-05-09T00:44:00.000-07:00

At the time when the capital of the Roman Catholic Church was still in Constantinople, the Pope was faced with a crisis off grave proportions. The Catholics could no longer tolerate the growing population of the Jews in the city, and wanted them out of the city. Under tremendous pressure, the Pope had the difficult task of issuing the eviction order. He decided that the best way to do it was to call the Chief Rabbi of the Jews to his pontifical cathedral, and hand him the order personally.

The Cardinals knew the Rabbi well, and cautioned the Pope, "The Rabbi is notorious for his power of persuasion. If you speak but a word to him, he will turn your word on you."

"What should I do?" asked the Pope.

"Do not speak to him. Tell him that he and his people have to leave the city, and tell him in the manner of the great liturgy of our Church: symbols without words."

So the news broke out to the Jews, and the Rabbi was summoned to the pontifical cathedral to recieve the order.

On the appointed day, the Rabbi walked into the cathedral with the Cardinals and all the officials of the church lining the aisle.

The Pope stood up and waved his hand, and pointed it to the distance.

The Rabbi, caught by surprise at the silent gesture, responded likewise by pointing his forefinger to the ground where he was standing.

The Pope then showed three of his fingers, and raised them in the air.

The Rabbi lifted his forefinger, and pointed it upwards.

The Pope turned to the altar and took the chalice, and held it up.

The Rabbi reached into his pocket and pulled out an apple.

Suddenly, the Pope broke his silence, crying, "All right! All right! You may stay!" The Rabbi left overjoyed.

The Cardinals were dumbfounded. "What happened? What did he say that made you change your mind?"

The Pope explained, "When he entered, I stood up and told him that God is everywhere, so the Jews need not stay in this city. But he said, 'God is here.' Then I told him that we are different: we believe in the Trinity, which they don't. He said, 'But we believe in one God; we are the same.'
"Finally, I took the chalice to remind him that it was the Jews who killed our Lord. But he replied, 'But we all ate from the apple in the Garden of Eden.'`How could I ask them to leave, when we are one and the same?"

When the Rabbi got back home, the Jews were overjoyed to learn that the Pope had changed his mind. "How did you convince him?" they asked.

"I don't know," the Rabbi replied, "When I walked in, he stood up and said, 'You have to leave this city!' I said, "No, we're staying here!' Then he said, 'I give you 3 days to leave!' Then I replied, 'Not 1 of us is going!'

"Suddently he turned around and offered me a drink. I had nothing with me except an apple in my pocket so I offered it to him. That was when he said, "All right! All right! You may stay!"

On my cross

2005-05-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

On My Cross

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so